Empty Spaces

Empty Spaces

Waking up without you next to me is dim, like the muffled sunlight that is trying to sing it’s good mornings beyond your opaque curtains. There is no skirting around the fact that we are pathetic with our love. You left me alone at an Andrea Gibson show for 15 min to get some food, and still had to text that you missed me. To fill the void, I had no choice but to write a poem about being alone.

 

 

Going Beyond Being About Us

Going Beyond Being About Us

From the train, tree tops blur by like fast paced days.
How could you reject me?
Let me count thy ways. ….

I.
Why do straight people feel the need to whisper right as they say the word “gay”?
Yet when labeling a “dyke” or “fag” they aren’t mindful with what they say?
Maybe we need to redefine our slang?  

There are some words that just shouldn’t be colloquial.

II.
Then there are times when they don’t seem to notice you.
Like when your sister notes that the girls need to step up their wedding game,
but fail to acknowledge your engagement ring…

III.
They ghost themselves from our relationship as if closing their eyes mean we don’t exist.
If your mom refuses to speak to me, then I remain in the abyss…

Since when have closing our eyes and plugging our ears become the solution to anything?

IV.
Sometimes I feel like a pollutant.
Like the litter that people drive by as they say,
someone should pick that up…
Like I’m too filthy too be touched.

I don’t like where this is going…
I don’t like the way your Christianity is showing.

V.
Since when is it ok to throw relationships to the wayside to avoid the discomfort of getting dirty?  

Can’t you see that your relationship with your daughter is getting lost in the debris-
From the smog and the smoke screens that have been placed in between
for the sake of keeping your “cup” clean?

When the truth is, all of our dishes are hand-me-down.

No one eats off of a plate straight from the box without washing it first.
And washing away your presence only heightens the hurt.

Our relationships would not be as easy to swallow if it were not for kneading through the dirt.

I don’t believe Christ ever wanted us to scrub out our love from those that we see as being stained.
Because the truth is, even He
took the time to cradle us
before he was slain.

Photo Taken by Mel Walkup